Flashback...

Today started off brilliantly...i went to safeia christmas concert. I watched her dance, sing and cried ( she was terrified of Santa!!). I think little bubbles behave well indeed..she was sitting all on her own and singing and clapping...and horraying everytime a carol is sang. I was proud of her..my little star!!!!!!...and then....

comes the other news..it was like flashback all of a sudden......a few years back i was given the same news by someone who is dearest to me and will always be...i was younger then but i probably acted more maturely then i did today. After what happen , i promised not to let myself be in that situation again coz i know how painful it was to be in it and to be apart of it. Everytime i think about it now...my heart still weeps...but the decision was made and i was needed to be strong for my dearest..but today was different..u suddenly felt that i didnt want to be apart of it again although i was being counted on. I am a shame of myself...
i am not proud of myself...in fact...i hate myself today!!! i hate myself for being the person i was today..this horible horrible unsuppotive person and yes i deserve all the blame for this........but i cant help but get emotional.

Overreacted....yes i did that today...to a person that helped me and family alot for the last 6 month. Although that person will not be reading this...I am Sorry and i hope everything goes well. If i could turn back in time...i would want to be th person i was 5 yrs back...